this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
