Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
