Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
