On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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