Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
