summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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