Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
