girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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