Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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