I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
