just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Me. At least after what I've been through.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
