Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
