school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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