she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
