But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
