I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
