I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
