i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
