Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
