She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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