Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
