he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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