dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
