..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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