Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
