the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
