If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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