i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize