Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
