cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
