so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
love makes seman taste better
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
we're so committed to being not committed
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
