If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
