did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
another moral hangover. fuck.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
