Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
