I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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