The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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