My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
