hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
