I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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