Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Alive.
So much puke
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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