I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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