the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
