We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just pee around me
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
