Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
