I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
