i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
