you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
All the doctor said was why
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
