He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
send nudes
from the living room?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
