I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
