and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
