just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
