let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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