i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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