This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
