I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
