I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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