there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We named our party play list daddy issues
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
