that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
