i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
